And now, our yearly custom continues…
[dimming lights]
[queuing up sexy saxophone music]
[adjusting Speedo]
Hey, Bebeh.
How YOU doin’?
Right this moment is Ken Day, bebeh doll, and which means I am right here to make all of your attractive, attractive desires come true.
Besides possibly that one.
(By no means once more, Cancun. NEVER AGAIN.)
That is proper, my sprinkle-coated sugar dumpling, I’m about to rock your world … by dealing you a hand of Blackjack:
Or, wait… it is a sizzling tub? Oh. Okay. EVEN BETTER. Mrowr.
Now, slide that candy little character of yours over right here, and have an infinite glass of ketchup:
I warmed up this aspect of the concrete slab only for you. [eyebrow waggle]
What’s flawed, my tangy berry candy tart? Is the concrete to not your liking?
Maybe you’d want some Satin Ice* sheets?
I do not lounge this casually for simply anybody, you understand. Principally as a result of I lack articulated elbows.
(*That one’s for you, decorators.)
These boxers are actually confining, although, my delicious fondant-wrapped cheesecake chunk.
Right here, let me slip into one thing a bit extra snug:
You may’t see it, however I am completely flexing for you proper now. Unnng.
Ahh, I can inform by your dismayed expression that you simply’re pondering EXACTLY what I am pondering, my honey-drenched pudding pop: this DOES cowl up too a lot of my “finer property.” [wink] Nicely, do not you are concerned. I can repair that.
[grunting]
[squelching noises]
Okay, my candy-coated cake pop! Put together to fulfill … THE LOINCLOTH OF LOVE:
Take me away, officer; I give up to YOUR SEXINESS.
Oh, and I ought to warn you: objects within the rear view are a lot hotter than they seem.
[jiggle jiggle]
Due to Sara O., Sanne V., Mary Ann B., Frank M., Laura S., Renee D., & Lauri M. for serving to me retroactively destroy lots of people’s childhoods.
*****
A number of years in the past, after John and I first printed this publish, we obtained an e-mail from readers Charity and Royce. That e-mail contained an audio file. An audio file that, as soon as performed, would change our lives eternally.
Or at the least make us snigger like hyenas for an excellent 5 minutes.
So in the present day, to your wrecking pleasure, we current that audio, mixed with our authentic visuals. Flip up the amount, and ENJOY.
Notice from john (thoJ): Once I was making this video, I pitched down Royce’s voice only a bit for sexiness. Once I confirmed Jen, she requested if I may pitch it method UP. The result’s, if attainable, much more hysterical.
So I current to you… The chipmunk model!
P.S. Want a candy reward for the one who has the whole lot? Then how a few card that transforms right into a bouquet:
Recent Reduce Paper Pop-Up Bouquet
You mail these flat like a greeting card, then they pop up into the prettiest bouquet! I’ve despatched a few these to each my mother and father and grandmother now. Recent Reduce has a number of totally different colours and flower preparations to select from, and I ship mine straight from Amazon, so with Prime it is free delivery!
