Enjoyable Reality: I am unable to stand horror motion pictures, however I really like – LOOOOVE – creepy desserts.
I am not speaking deliberately creepy stuff, like zombies or gore or “Child Bump” desserts – no, I imply those {that a} baker completed, checked out, and thought, “Yeah, that is fairly cute.“
I am instructed that is some type of clown.
I am additionally instructed {that a} Hitler joke right here will “get us in a lot bother are you freaking kidding me babe NOOOO.” So by no means thoughts.
Children might be creepy sufficient* as it’s, bakers, so please, STOP HELPING:
[*True Story: One time John and I were meeting with a fan at a busy restaurant, and the table next to us parked their stroller – which had a beautiful little boy in it – right across from me. The toddler had ice blue eyes and a slack, deadpan expression, and proceeded to stare at me. The entire. Time. Then John and the reader left to get drinks, leaving me alone with Baby Demon Eyes, and I kept trying not to notice, but every time I glanced over he was STILL STARING, like he was trying to mind-control me into stealing everyone’s souls and/or chocolate, and his parents were totally oblivious, and I started to freak out, and long story short, I’m afraid of babies now.]
Animal Safari Cake Claims Newest Sufferer:
Fast! Someone throw the newborn a rope! Until he will not cease looking at you!
Talking of staring:
Dang, Woody. You creepy.
However even that plastic menace is about to be eclipsed by the funky cake bazoongas of 1 not-quite-life-sized Dolly Parton cake:
I fear about her structural integrity, you guys. Like, she may topple over any second and smother you together with her cakey enjoyable luggage. Which I assume is type of like actual life? Solely extra awkward, as a result of in actual life you in all probability would not ever must lick off Dolly Parton’s boob smears, and wow did that go someplace I did not wish to go quick.
[side eye]
[awkwardly sidles out of the room]
Due to Nisha T., Niki R., Paula, Tenley H., & Summer time S., who agree we should always all cease eager about licking Dolly Parton’s boobs now. Cease it. Cease it. STOP IT.
*****
P.S. Talking of boobs, here is a shout-out to my favourite wire-free bra:
Warner’s Straightforward Does It Seamless Wi-fi Bra
That is the ONLY bra I put on now, y’all. I really like the under-arm smoothing panel – no dig or pinch! – and like most Warners, these are extremely snug. I watch the itemizing and purchase any coloration that goes below $20, so test all of them in your measurement! (I am a 34DDD and put on a Giant, if that helps.)
Oh, and you should definitely test the picture gallery for a greater thought of how they appear on bigger tracts of land.
